Dating / Racism / The Problem Guests

The Problem Guests: Racism in the Gay Community

Written by Robert in response to a former #SpillSesh interview on Dating As a Gay Black Man.

I am a 58 year old African American who came out at 18. I have 40 years of experience being out in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and in NYC. I experienced far less discrimination in the gay community in the 80’s and 90’s than I do now. I have tried to put my finger on why that is. Continue reading

Sex & Hooking Up / The Problem Guests

The Problem Guests: Sexual Identity, Shame, and a Need for Healing

Written by @unicorns_drink_blood

Too often I see men, especially queer/gay men, distorting their sexual identity into an easy to swallow two dimensional presentation. Often relying on stereotypes of what it is to be “male” to set acceptable parameters. Letting society define your sexual self is limiting at best and dangerous or detrimental at worst. Forcing parts of ourselves to remain in the shadows is in reality telling ourselves we are ashamed of our person. Continue reading