Apps / Dating / Friendship

5 Popular Gay Excuses, Interpreted

I was going back through my old content, and the topic of “gay excuses” seemed to be recurring in my early posts. These are the typical excuses provided by gay men that you’re trying to date or otherwise get-to-know in some capacity. They can be confusing, infuriating, and often, complete bullshit. Here, I look into 5 popular excuses provided by gay men and what they might actually mean… Continue reading

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Apps / Dating / Sex & Hooking Up

#TheGrid2 Snippet: Grindr’s “Stat Culture”

As I come closer to finishing part two of my book The Grid: Lessons from the Men of Grindr, I wanted to share another snippet (since it is hard for me to write about anything else at the moment!) Here is a section on Grindr’s destructive “stat culture” – I know most of you who have ever been on the app will connect with this. I hope all of you will check out my full breakdown (and suggestions for fixing) “stat culture” when the book comes out. Continue reading

Apps / Dating / Relationship Advice

#TheGrid2 Snippet: When to Meet the Guy from an App

Since I am knee-deep in finishing up part two of my book The Grid: Lessons from the Men of Grindr, I thought I’d share a snippet (since it is hard for me to write about anything else at the moment!) Here is a section on deciding when to meet someone in real life from an app. In this case, I met Michael (a guy you’ll discover in book 2) the same night we started talking on Grindr. Needless to say, it was an interesting night! Here are my thoughts on when to potentially meet that guy from an app… Continue reading

Dating / Racism / The Problem Guests

The Problem Guests: Racism in the Gay Community

Written by Robert in response to a former #SpillSesh interview on Dating As a Gay Black Man.

I am a 58 year old African American who came out at 18. I have 40 years of experience being out in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and in NYC. I experienced far less discrimination in the gay community in the 80’s and 90’s than I do now. I have tried to put my finger on why that is. Continue reading