The Problem Guests: Dear White Gays…

An anonymous submission…

“If I could say or ask one thing, I would ask white people (especially white gays) to be more aware of their words and actions. Speaking from experience, some friends of mine were at the Pulse nightclub the night of the shooting. One friend, who was very close to me, was murdered there that night. In the days after the shooting, what hurt the most was how many white gays would go to vigils and take selfies, posting on social media saying “it could have been me” while knowing they had no friends of color and never went to the Latin night or gay clubs.

What I saw then, how white gays hijacked the mourning from those of us directly affected by the shooting, is the same behavior I am seeing now with the Black Lives Matter movement. White gays going to protests, taking pictures of attractive Black men with the purpose of sexually objectifying them or otherwise using the protest as a prop for their social media.

Take it from me, in times like these, your Black and Brown friends need you to be there. Call them, text them, stop by their home. One of the great things about the LGBTQ+ community is how diverse it is. If your circle of friends does not reflect the diversity of our community, ask yourself why. I would ask white gays to be an ally and friend. Listen. Do not repeat the mistakes that happened after the Pulse shooting and let Black and Brown queer people of color speak their truth. This time it is not about you.”

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