Break Ups / Dating / Relationship Advice

Tips For Surviving Your Gay Break Up





I was recently asked if I had any good tips for dealing with a break up from a longterm relationship.  In this instance, the follower said he was with his boyfriend for three years. Many of us know that three years in gay dating is actually 3 lifetimes, so first off, I’d like to commend you for making it that far. Unfortunately, many relationships end for various reasons and you just have to deal with it to move forward.  I wasn’t given much detail on why the relationship ended in this case, but here are a few tips that should work in most situations:

  • Cut Them Off: The first step is the simplest but often the most difficult.  If you are serious about breaking up, you need a clean break. Delete your text log, block their number if you have to.  This is not going to be easy – especially if you are used to constant communication with this person.  It may take weeks, months, or even years to completely get this person out of your system, but this is the best approach in my experience.  Once you have completely moved on and can go day to day without even thinking about this person, you can revisit communication or establishing a friendship if you still care to.
  • Distract Yourself: Do what you have to do to get your mind off of the relationship and break up.  Start working out more, hang out with friends you haven’t seen in a while, spend time with family.  The more time you can spend occupied, the less time you have to dwell on the past, be sad, or potentially reach out to your ex.
  • Rebound Carefully: You are generally going to be inclined to find someone new to fill the void in your life.  Approach this carefully.  Don’t hurt some innocent guy’s feelings just because you want attention.  If you are going to meet people – be upfront.  “I just got out of a relationship, looking for friends, etc.”  As long as you let others know what’s up, it’s their decision if they want to hang out with you.  Also, don’t be a whore or lower your standards just because you’re lonely.  You will regret it in the long run.  Ideally, you can wait a bit before meeting new people and start fresh on the dating scene when you’re ready.

These are just a few tips that have gotten me through break ups in the past.  What has worked for you guys?  Let me know in the comments!

-Lex, Esq.

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