One of my Instagram followers brought up an interesting issue recently. The question was “why is it ok for gay guys to make sexually explicit comments on each other’s pictures and profiles but not ok if a straight man does the same to a woman?” The follower seemed annoyed with the rampant use of explicit language by gay men on social media and dating profiles.
My personal opinion is that it is never ok to make unsolicited sexually explicit remarks to anyone. Even if you think it will come across as a compliment, I think it is inappropriate, potentially offensive, and in bad taste. I think substituting “I want to f*ck you” with “you are beautiful” gets the point across just as easily and has a lot less potential to offend or make someone feel uncomfortable.
But I am only one opinion. One of the most exciting parts of TPG is that now that I have a significant audience, I get to turn these questions on you and see what the community thinks. I got some great responses on this topic, here are some of the most interesting comments:
- “It all depends on whether or not the receiving party is ok with it – if they’re not, then it is not ok.”
- “Sexually explicit comments are not good at all, no matter if the person is a man, a woman, gay or straight. We all deserve respect.”
- “Kill every cis straight man and there would be world peace.” #read
- “I think it comes from sexual suppression back in the day when everyone hid their sexuality. Now that you can cruise in bed at your fingertips, ultimately no one cares because you are still safe.”
- “Sex and hedonism are a large part of the gay culture. We’re submerged with porn and porn ads on our dating sites and even regular gay news sites so sex, youth, visuals, physical remarks are just the norm.”
- “Gay culture is sexually driven and most gay guys view each other as objects. Look how many gay guys exploit themselves and their bodies. When you lead with your body, that’s what other guys will take you for.”
Very interesting points. I completely agree that it depends on the relationship you have with the person, but unsolicited comments are never ok. I also agree with the fact that gay culture is so sexually driven and sometimes the media treats us like that is all we care about. Certainly it’s a big part of who we are but like one follower said, you get what you put out there. If you lead with your body, expect those types of remarks.
Did we miss any good points? Let me know in the comments!